Flowers Chasing Bees...Oh My

So, one of my mother's favorite sayings regarding dating rituals is "the flower doesn't chase the bee." Hello, thank you early 20th Century dating advice Mom. The flowers these days have grown legs and don't wait around for the bees to find them. They go right up to the beehive, introduce themselves and screen the bees for possible medical history problems, mental illness and STDs.

Also, they don't just look pretty for one bee, I mean why do you need one bee when the whole hive would like to get near your stem and piston? Know what I'm sayin. They go to the latest hive hot spots and act like they love all the pollen sports and drink all the fermented honey just like bees. Those of us flowers that still keep our 33 year old roots are left wilting wondering when our next bee is coming. I mean when is the bee that isn't ridiculous coming already right.

Its Been Quite a While

So, I am not a good blogger. Sorry about that. My parents are on an LDS Mission, I have been very busy at work. My niece and nephew have moved away. I have new roommates, my aunt and her kids.

The other day I was thinking about this blog and thought about my posts and how long it has been. Well, I will try to do better, but I'm not making any promises.

The other day I went to a networking event. These things are always awkward, its like going to a job interview. "Hi, I'm Hola. I work at XXXX and I would love to get to know all of you." You can definitely tell who can work a room and who is just coming because they know they should. Social Networking is much easier.

Vote for #6

My sister Lu'isa just took a photography class from my cousin's wife Seini. I love photography and the process. However, I love the old school developing with the chemicals and fixing it. The developing process was always my favorite part along with playing with the light and aperture's.

She has some of her examples here at www.seinis.com. Click on to the link and vote for #6. I love the angle and the use of color and space. Its soft and subtle. Great job Lu'isa.

Mother's Day

Some of my friends have said that "every day is mother's day." I'm not sure what that means. Does it mean that every day you are a mother and you're glad? Or, does it mean that every day you're a mother and you're under appreciated (I know the word unappreciated, but I mean under)? I smile and don't say anything. Awkward.

I hope those of you who are mother's of young children, know that your children love you and that you are their world, no pressure. Those of you with grown children need to know that, your children love you and you are still their world, even if their world has gotten a little more crowded and sometimes they get busy (Its hypothetical, not me). I love you, Mom.

Oprah and Chicken

Oprah is amazing. Whether you agree with her politics or think her shows have too many dramatic pauses during the teasers (that's what I think). She knows what women want. Whether its book club reading or giving America a new President. She has an instinct about what women want that many corporations wish they had.

This week she gave away FREE Chicken coupons to KFC. However, it was "grilled" chicken. So, once again my feelings are mixed. Grilled Chicken and KFC...I think I'll pass. Thank you for the thought Oprah.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt

In let's say...January, I bought a weight watcher scale. I just took it out of the box about a month a go and I just put in the batteries, TODAY! So, I put it on the ground and tapped it, then stepped on it. YES! I have officially re-entered the no weightloss zone. Which means that I weigh exactly the same about as I did last year BEFORE I lost 42.4 lbs.

I was in denial that my habits had fallen so terribly. But, its true I am back to square one. I think this is like any goal whether its music, fitness or spirituality. It needs constant diligence to keep something up. Its a let down and I can't believe that I was in denial for so long. Last night I bought the frozen meals, I'm going to sign up again. I need to, its no use pretending I look good or I feel good. Okay, maybe I look good, but I can always look better. ;)

Some things that make me slightly different

Before you think this is going to be some expose post on my life. Just go ahead and click out. Its not. I was just having conversation with my cousin's wife Felecia and she made a comment that some girls don't like Jane Austen Movies. Which is a shocker to me since my sisters and I love them. So, here are some things that I think might be unusual or make me feel different from many other people. Feel free to share what you think makes you feel different or unusual.

1. Garth Brooks sounded better as Chris Gaines.
   
2. Twix should not have done away with the peanut butter twix.
3. I hate guys with long hair, especially pony tails.
   
4. I hate raw onions and sometimes say I'm allergic in restaurants because I don't want them near my food.
5. I hate when I hear that they may do away with the penny because, how can I ever come out with exact change. I don't understand.
   
6. When I donate to the "Fill in child's name" for "Fill in organ" transplant fund, wonder if I'm being suckered.
   
7. Like a Hannah Montana song and I'm over 30.
8. Wonder if Elvis and Tupac are really alive, I doubt it but still am intrigued.
   
9. Worry about a world that gets more of their news from housewife blogs than from credible journalists.
10. I am blogging at 1:00 AM and work early tomorrow.
11. Like lists to end in multiples of 5, but also like to break conformity rules.
    

So, tell me what is something that you don't know if other people feel the same way about something as you do.

Death and Taxes...

The saying goes that in life there are only two things that you can be certain about, death and taxes. It is a somewhat comforting statement in an uncertain time. We lived in an era where people thought buying and selling homes like we used to sell candy to our relatives for some school organization, was a sound investment strategy. People watch the stock market like its a game of blackjack and that you should move your stocks daily. Fear, becomes our motivation.

That is more depressing than an economic depression. So, I would like to say that there are more things you can be certain about than death and taxes. Here is my list.

1. McDonald's will always sell a cheeseburger and I will always order it with no pickles and no onions.
2. Reality game shows like survivor and the Amazing Race should not show during the dinner hours of 7-8pm. *sound of gagging.*
3. I will always wonder how a chain smoker like Anthony Bourdain can also be a food critic. Smoking and taste buds don't mix.
4. I will always yell at the movie screen and close my eyes when the people go into a dark room or go walk alone down an abandoned road. ARE YOU CRAZY!
5. Oreo cookies are always better with milk.
6. Celebrities will always get divorced and magazines will always cover them on the front page and we will always say, "I could have told you that wasn't going to work out."
7. 100 calorie snack packs will never assuage my appetite for the real stuff.
8. Money doesn't make people kind or mean. They either are or they aren't.
9. I will never understand politics no matter how much I study or think about it.
10. I will always love my family and friends no matter how long we go without speaking or seeing one another.

How much does it cost to be pretty???

I know, I haven't written in a while and I apologize for the delay. I have been crazy, busy, but really who isn't. This lack of time has made me spend money on things I would have been hesitant to ever consider in the past. I eat out more, I buy clothes without browsing as much and considering the cost. But, last week I bought a pair of tweezers for TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS!! I couldn't believe how much until I left the beauty supply shop. I thought that the wax I usually purchase had increased. When I looked at the receipt and saw that it was the tweezers, I was floored. It made me think about what am I spending my money on and why?

Is it the way that owning something makes us feel or is it really the quality. Take name brand jeans for example. As a 13 year old girl I had my heart set on a pair of Girbaud jeans. I knew that if I could just have a pair, then I would be happy. I begged and pleaded with my mother for a pair. Finally, Santa heard my pleas and I was given some for Christmas.

I felt so fantastic, I wore them almost every other day. However, it really didn't change my social status or my friends thoughts about me. It changed the way I felt about myself. I think sometimes we identify with things like purses and shoes or make-up (I am a recovering sephora addict) to make us feel better. Even our jobs can try to define us.

I went to a networking lunch a few weeks ago with new BYU Alumni. I had never been to one before and it was only $8.00!!! Usually I spend a minimum of $25.00. Going to this lunch I realized I have been working with seasoned networking pros for too long.

I went to this lunch and the first thing you do at any networking function is to AVOID talking about business, unless you know that person already. Why? Because you have nothing to build on. Business is done through relationships. You have to first have one to build on, otherwise you're just a car salesman. These new alums, the first thing they did was ask me "what do you do?" I of course, knew what they meant and I answered. However, then I began asking them about had they been to an alum lunch before, how long had they been a graduate. They are all hard working kids, who had probably been to very few if any lunches, yet they flashed their cards in my face and asked me about my insurance/investing. They were eager to talk about their "positions." Because they are still new and a title defines them. They've probably never been fired, laid off, downsized or let down--yet.

Sometimes we all get caught up and let others define us. We let what car we drive, where we live and even what our church positions define us. We buy $25.00 tweezers because there is no price and you like leopard print. But, its just a pair of tweezers/job/car. A better title to define me is, friend, sister, daughter, best looking person you know. (come on do you really thing I wouldn't crack a joke).

New Years Resolutions

Every year I make the same resolutions, lose weight, get in shape, run a marathon, pay off debt and graduate from college. This year I lost weight and gained it back, got in shape and ran two 5K's, now I'm out of breath walking up stairs. I finally graduated from College (Thanks for coming Dane, even thought I didn't get to see you) LOL Paid off (with the help of my parents who I'm paying back) all my debt. So, I thought I should make the lose weight goal, get in shape and run a real marathon my goals. BO-RING! I know, so instead of focusing on me, I think I'll make New Years Resolutions for others.


MTV - To make music videos or find REAL stars to make reality TV shows about. It was funny with the Osborne's and we laughed at the first couple of Real Worlds, but seriously. You hit a low with Celebrity Fit club and Dr. Drew Celeb rehab. Lets go back to, oh I don't know, music television. Crazy, I know.


Paris Hilton - Retire. We get it your family has money and you are a hoochie. No one wants to be your BFF except crazy girls.


Stephanie Meyers - write something that doesn't make girls sound whiny and boys sound like dark, obsessive, prone to violence adolescents. I'm still a little bitter.




Brittany Spears - Get it together girl. Millions of dollars and lots of fame and you are still crazy. Life is not drama, you are. Take your meds.

Fox TV - you have two good shows, the Simpsons and House. Everything else is NBC re-runs, whats up with that!


BYU Football team, can we get a good o-line next year! PLEASE! Help your quarterback.

Happy New Years Everyone!

Sometimes I can cook too...

My father is an excellent cook. I am a believer that cooking is not hard, however excellent cooking is a gift. I have not been blessed with that talent. However I do make a few things well and I did it by trial and error. So, I'll share one of my famous recipes with you, please keep in mind that I make these dishes by sight and so while I am saying a certain amount of ingredients you may have to add or reduce based on how it looks and the consistency you like.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes:

This recipe I made up based on an Tyler's ultimate mashed potatoes and Spencer's Garlic Smashed potato recipes that I mixed together. This dish serves either 7 Tongans or 20 palangi's LOL.

Ingredients:

5lb bag of Golden potatoes - wash them.
3tbs of olive oil
2 twigs of fresh rosemary
3 whole minced garlic cloves
2 cups of half & half milk (you can use regular milk, but its not as tasty)
1 cup of salted butter
2-packages of cream cheese softened

wash and then boil (1) Five pound bag of unpeeled potatoes until fully cooked. While the potatoes are boiling, in a separate pan place the chopped cloves of garlic and rosemary twigs and saute them in olive oil until lightly brown. In another pot place the half and half milk and a stick of butter and place over medium heat until the milk begins to simmer then immediately remove from heat. Once the potatoes are done boiling remove them from heat and drain the water. begin to smash the potatoes together either in a kitchen aid or with a tool of some sort, combine the potatoes with soften cream cheese. Slowly add the garlic and rosemary with the olive oil into the potatoes while stirring. Then add the milk and butter until you reach the consistency of the potatoes that you like remember you can always add more, but you can't remove it if its too runny. I like mine a little lumpy, but that's just me. Add salt and pepper to taste.

That's it! Make it and your family will LOVE it!

What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger...I don't buy it.

It is with a heavy heart that I report that the mighty BYU cougars...lost, that's the good news. The bad news, it was to to... the *cough* *gagging sound* Utes. What is up with THAT! I would like the Ute fans to remember that I did not rub anything in last year, or the year before.

Some people ask why I am such a cougar fan. The only response is that I was raised this way, the right way. In all seriousness, I am glad that we still have something to cheer or get excited about. College sports is a great diversion when the outlook for the economy and job losses can seem so down.

A friend of mine, who is a cougar, and I were talking and she doesn't see the point of college football. I was a bit speechless, but here is my response. Competitive sports are traditional in every culture. It is a way of binding a society together. It helps to identify a hero and a villain. Us versus them. People can get aggression out in a way which will help them to move beyond cultural differences and break barriers, sometimes without the violence associated. We can see this in Jesse Owens during the Olympics, Jackie Robinson and baseball, Tiger Woods and the PGA. Societies that aren't necessarily ready to accept change socially can accept it through athletics. Then eventually they will ask themselves, I cheer for them in sports, why can't I cheer for them outside of the sport.

Which is why I still like Max Hall. We still had a great season and I'm still a cougar.

I don't have TiVo but I love TV

It seems that everyone has TiVo or DVR these days. I WISH I had either of them. However, I do not. Instead, I watch many of my shows on Sunday on my laptop. I love it!

Television viewing used to be either you snooze you lose. However, now people can make their TV fit their schedule. I don't know if this is dangerous idea or not. I'll give you an example.

My cousin Larry Moeaki (shout out whoo! hoo!) and I lived in my family's home in Provo when I first got back from my LDS mission. He was addicted to two shows at the time, The Practice and The Sopranos. I was not allowed to talk or even think about coming home during those two shows. WHY, you ask because he had formed "The Practice" club. To which he was the only member. On Sunday's I had to either go home to Salt Lake or stay at a friends house. If I did not, for the rest of the week Larry would not talk to me. So, to get around this rule, I petitioned to join the practice club. I wrote a formal letter and all. I was accepted only after a series of what can only be describes as hazing. We did bond and I know I am his second favorite roommate EVER, after his wife.

If I had owned a TiVo we may not have been able to have those hazing/bonding experiences.

I watch the following shows on the poor mans TiVo the Internet full episodes: Greys Anatomy, Ugly Betty & HOUSE.

P.S. Shout out to Jacqueline Crowther (who is not black) my Grey's Anatomy buddy and facebook complicated relationship friend. ;)

Bad Boys vs. Good Guys

I was having a conversation with a cousin of mine this weekend. She was telling me that she is in love with this guy. He is always drunk, he's a gang banger and basically a "bad boy." She told me that she has always been attracted to "bad boys." While I was trying to tell her about her options and that she can do better, I found myself having dejavu. I have had this conversation with other friends and cousins about "bad boys." Why do women like them?

I have no idea. I think it might have to do with the idea of taming them or rebelling. I've always been attracted to good guys. I like the idea that I won't go through an emotional roller coaster. Maybe girls that like bad boys like drama. While we were having this conversation she told me about three other cousins who like bad boys. I guess I'll be having dejavu again.

P.S. I promised my cousin Larry Moeaki he would get a shout out in my blog. He's a good guy, sometimes. ;)

Am I :D or :( ... emoticons...why I can't type without them. ;)

It all began with simple ha! ha! ha!'s at the end of my sentences. Then I started writing lol. Later it was WTH-k. (I try not to swear even in text form, although I am not perfect). Now, I don't know how to type without them or worse...emoticons.

I just get nervous and question myself, will they know I'm kidding if I don't write LM@O or ;). A friend of mine who holds degrees in English and French Literature chastised me a while back after I sent her a sarcastic email with a "LOL" & :D at the end of the sentence. She commented that I had become "one of them." By "them" she meant the masses who do not know how to express themselves properly through punctuation and diction.

My main form of communication between clients is through email. I usually only speak with them when I am actually in negotiations, even then usually I type to clarify. However, I find that many of them use emoticons in business language. It makes me uncomfortable, however I feel as if I HAVE to return the LOL or ROFLM@O.

It must be indicative of the sarcastic nature of our society that we really can't just say what we mean. Our humor can be so biting and our punctuation so lackadaisical that we can not decipher what the other person means or is trying to say without them adding a :o) or a >:). I enjoy a good joke, but where does that leave our language if we can not properly punctuate. How will we understand one another? Is the English language doomed or am I just going to have to make up new ways of expressing myself. :-P.

Man Hands...yeah that's me ;)

So, in a previous post I discussed that a physical feature I like about myself are my hands. What I failed to tell you, is that my hands are pretty big. My friend and work and I laugh about our hands and if you've ever seen the Jerry Seinfeld episode, we call them our "Man hands."

I wear a size 9 in ring. YEAH! I know. Crazy. I can't buy any of the nice feminine gloves because one size does NOT fit ALL!

I conjure up images of "So, I Married an Axe Murderer" and say "Hand move now" and laugh. One of my mahu (gay male feminine) cousins tried to make me feel better, he said "They are not Man Hands, they are elegant and graceful, like Queen Salote." That's why I love my mahu cousins.

I really don't mind that they're big, its funny how some things make you sensitive and others you just brush your shoulder. Now, if they made fun of my old red-framed glasses it would be ON! ;)

Confessions of a Social Network Addict

Hello, my name is Hola and I am a social network addict. It started out as just something fun and casual. I thought, hey all my friends are doing it. It began with a casual profile on myspace. Then my cousins all told me they were on bebo. Then all my classmates and siblings were on facebook. Next thing I knew, I was writing on other peoples walls. I couldn't even go a whole day without checking on my phone. While I was in line at the grocery store, I would check on other peoples walls. When sitting in doctors appointments I would be facebook stalking. Then people began poking me. At first, I thought it was strange and then I started to like it. *sobbing* I couldn't stop.

I told myself, I could handle it. I mean, I wasn't hurting anyone. All of the games were free. However, I started comparing myself to others. Are we "best friends," are we "soul mates." Who did I need to cut out because our pet peeves are "same difference" or worse..."miles apart." I began avoiding my friends because I know that they would wonder why I did not accept their flowers. *screams* I can only save so much rain forest a day.

SO, I lost my phone. (I don't want to hear it) It has forced me to re-evaluate my life. I have had to take a hard long look at how many of my 192 really close friends can I keep in touch. How many pieces of flair really mean something to me. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Am I being too picky????

I have an Uncle, well I have many actually. But, this one particular Uncle, every time I see him tells me to tell my mother to stop being so picky. He is referring to my marital status. He thinks I should just get married. As if I can just pick a husband up at the local McDonald's. Well, he actually may not be too far off.

This past weekend, I had to open the store as usual. However, I also had to make the bank deposit from the night before. The store opens at 8:30am and the bank opens at 9:00 am. We always try to have two people in the store. I told my cousin I didn't think it would be that busy this morning because of the LDS General Conference, later definitely, but only between sessions. So, I told her I would drop off the deposit and I needed to weigh in at weight watchers. I said, it would take me about 30 minutes and I would buy her some McDonald's. She agreed and so I ran my errands. When I pulled into the McDonald's parking lot, the line to the drive in was waaay to long. I thought for sure the line inside would be shorter, plus I try not to idle my car, for the environment and my wallet...ha. Next time I'm going to let the car idle and cause a hole in the ozone. Here is what happened.

So, I parked the car and went inside. I was standing in a huge crowd and trying to get to the line. A small hispanic man with a strong accent, told me I could go ahead of him. I smiled and said thank you. Then we proceeded to have the following conversation.

Him: Where is your husband?
Me: huh?

Him: Boyfriend?
Me: (When will I learn to lie) *Awkward smile*. No.

Him: Do you want a boyfriend?
Me: (the lady in front of me kept making the guy repeat back her order, he hardly spoke English and the line was taking FOREVER, I wanted to kill them) Not really.

Him: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, I'm good.

Him: So, am I. (He started to laugh, ick)
Me: ( I Quickly turn to the cashier and give her my order and money and feel sick to my stomach and move to the side to wait for my food. As I am waiting a kid comes up to the man and says, "Dad is the food done yet?")

Don't ever be picking up girls at McDonald's while your KIDS are waiting for their food. Am I being too picky...I don't think so. Sheesh!

10 Signs You're too OLD for the SINGLES WARD.

I attend a singles LDS Ward. For those who do not belong to the LDS Faith, many of these wards are to "help" single LDS people go to church with people who have a similar outlook on life and have shared experiences. It can be a good thing, however it is mainly for people in their 20's and there is a time when people may "hint" that maybe you should go to the "regular" family wards. These are all hypothetical, however they may hit close to home for some. The characters and situations are all fictional. ( just needed to add my Law & Order clause in case some of you seek royalties or compensation for public humiliation.) ;)

1. The Bishop starts asking members to pray specifically for you to find "a special spirit" during the monthly fast.

2. Other ward members start referring to you as "wise" and "more mature" when trying to set you up with THEIR single parent.

3. When you go to a church dance you request the DJ to play your favorite song, he smiles at you and says, "I love the oldies too."

4. The newly appointed counselor in the bishopric says in his first address to the ward, that he is happy to see some familiar faces. Especially yours because you used to teach him in PRIMARY!

5. You mention to your family home evening group that you went to the Cheers bar when you were in Boston, they all look at you with blank stares and judge you for going to a bar.

6. The year that you graduated from High School is the year that many of them were born.

7. The bishop gives you a calling as Ward Historian, because all of the ward members think that history started with you.

8. You attend a new singles ward with your sister/brother and the bishop tells them that its so nice to have their "MOTHER/FATHER" attend church with them.

9. You find yourself telling other ward members that you remembered going to the ward with their parents. Good times.

10. You make some movie suggestions to the ward activity committee and they turn you down because they don't watch TCM they watch TMZ.

Remember this is fictional, I am not that old...I think. ;)

Why I have the greatest roommates in the WHOLE WORLD!

I have the GREATEST ROOMIES in the WORLD! Here are some reasons.

1. My Roommates share a room and bathroom, I get my own room and bathroom. (Jealous, I know)

2. I get along with my roommates "boyfriend" as I like to call him. He is quite the handsome guy, but really not my type. He's so "patriarchal."

3. I'm so comfortable with my roomies, I feel like we've known each other my whole life.

4. My roommates charge me the perfect rent rate. It is very affordable.

5. My only hang up is my roommates family. They are not always my favorite people. Especially the ones that call from Hawaii. You are 4 hours behind. We're already in BED!

That's about all. I hope you all are enjoying your roomies as well. Remember its not the destination, its the journey! That's how you find happiness. ;)